To go ‘ beard vs no beard’ is a question that most men have to ask themselves every time they look in the mirror. “Should I keep shaving today or is today the day I’m just going to say ‘f*uck’ it and let it grow out?” Both looks have their perks and benefits and we’d like to give you the science and not so science-y answers to how the two stack up.
Are men with beards more masculine than men without beards? From prehistoric man to ancient Rome, from Huns to brewers in Portland, beards have been worn by manly men for thousands of years. However, some men, at no fault of their own can’t grow a full beard and they’re still men, right? RIGHT! Being able to grow a beard is directly connected to how man’s body reacts to testosterone. For the most part, men maintain roughly the same amount of testosterone as their fellow man. However, a New York Times article states that men who can grow full beards are more sensitive, to testosterone than their smooth-faced friends. Long story short, the ability to grow a thick beard is not connected to manliness, virility or testosterone levels, and 100% to do with your genes. If you’re mad you can’t grow a beard, blame the genetics that made you. (Not suggesting you pick up the phone and yell at your parents about that. That would be dumb).
If one of your bearded friends give you sh*t cause you can’t grow a beard, remind him that men who are more sensitive to testosterone are also more likely to lose their hair and go bald.
- Beards do keep your face warm so if you live in a cold climate and can grow one, give it a shot. You’ll be warmer than the next guy wiis scarf wrapped around his head.
- “Do beards make you look hotter?” Technically yes, beards do keep your face warm and if you got one, it’s logical for people to assume that you are indeed hotter than men without beards. The truth is, no matter if you’re straight or LGBTQ, there are people out there who are REALLY into a guy with a beard.
- Does having a beard makes it easier to get into nightclubs without having to show your ID. TRUE.
- Does having a beard make you seem wiser? You be the judge. Check out this picture of Steve Jobs with and without a beard. Who’s code would you trust?
- Are men with beards more attractive to women? Well yes…and no. Some women love to rub up against a man with a full beard, while others prefer a hairless cat. The good news is, there’s women out there that really dig both.
- If you’re lazy and have the right genes, you will grow an amazing beard. Half true. If you have the right genes and let your beard grow, you will have a beard, but it takes serious grooming with an excellent beard comb and premium beard oils.
- Beards give you more costume options at halloween. YES. Ever wanted to he Santa’s hotter, younger brother? How about a bad-ass pirate? What about a crazy Viking? Want to go as a Viking? How about Michael Jordan? Wait…no. A beard would make that harder…How about Houston Rocket’s James Harden!?!
- Beards make it look like you’ve got the answer to life’s tough questions. But imagine if you had a beard in high school, teachers and students would assume you had the answer to every question…good thing you’re not in high school anymore.
- Beards get compliments. Nobody ever gets stopped on the street by someone who is marveling at how smooth your face is, right? But if you have a beard, people will wanting to shake your hand and get a selfie with you. Beards turn you into an instant celebrity.
- Beard brothers stick together. No matter where you are in the world and what language you speak, if you have a beard and see another fellow beardsmen in public, chances are it’s worth saying hello.
- If you’re stuck on an island with a bunch of clean shaven faces, they are going to look to you to find food and build shelter. More work for you, yes, but there might be a smooch or two in it for you as a thank you.
- If you’re low on cash, a beard can get you money. Simply put on some tattered clothes or the clothes you wear on laundry day, write a clever ask on a piece of cardboard and stand on a traffic median. You’ll be Bill Gates in no time!
- Hate the changing of the seasons? Allergic to a lot of airborne junk? Grow a beard and block those pesky allergens from floating up your nose.
- If you’re prone to breakouts, a beard can hide those unsightly bumps and keep you looking cool while you heal.
- Beards are fun to touch. They help you think and clear your mind. They can even act like a natural fidget spinner. Plus, you can help your loved one pull you in close for a kiss.
- Remember, if you want to up your instagram game, there are more trending hashtags for #beard than their are #cleanshavenbabysass
- If you know you can grow a beard, but just never wanted to try it, trust us, give it a chance this fall. You just might love what you grow.